


Trust Is Needed For Survival

by Sasha176



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Blood, Camp Jaha | Arkadia, Clexa, Dehydration, Drama & Romance, F/F, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Injury, Injury Recovery, Minor Character Death, Polis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Starvation, Survival, Survival Training, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6521110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasha176/pseuds/Sasha176
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke realizes that surviving is much harder than she thought. She did not restock anything she had on her for her runaway. She can't tell the difference between blood on her hands or if it's dirt. Her mind just won't work the same anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke painfully realizes that she did not think this entire runaway thing all so through. She didn't even go into Arkadia to restock anything she had on her. Her gun which was jabbing into her upper thigh only had two bullets in it and she had no food on her either.

Clarke runs through the confusing green forest in a zig zag pattern. Likely to find the stream she thought she heard but then again it might just be her mind spinning around in her head while she tried not to think about what happened at mount weather.

Her back itches from a mix of a possibly infected cut and the fact that she was sleeping on the stubborn rocky ground for a few nights. Clarke missed the ark, all the food, shelter, comfort she was used too, but she could no longer be that childish, foolish, selfish kid she was before mount weather. But she couldn't. She couldn't forget any of it. She knew that wherever she looked, if she stepped inside that camp there would always be a reminder of what she had done. Those reminders were everywhere, and they were all the very people who she had done so much to save. It was her mother, unable to walk, needing to be carried in a stretcher back to camp because of what had been done to her. It was Octavia, the girl whose glare still pierced through Clarke whenever she looked at her, clearly unable to forget what Clarke had allowed to happen at TonDC. It was Raven, another one who had needed to be carried down from the mountain both because of the destruction of her leg brace and because of what the Mountain Men had done to her. It was Monty and Bellamy, the two who had helped her to bring down the mountain, but had looked to her to make the final decision. It was Jasper, the boy who had once been her friend, but now looked at her with nothing but hatred, a clear reminder that she had been responsible for the death of the girl he had come to love. It was all of this and so much more that made it impossible for her to step foot into Camp Jaha, made it impossible for her to go home.

The word 'Lexa' still floats around in her head and all the memories she had with her. Especially the one where Clarke saved Lexa, her now enemy from the Pauna who attacked them. She shakes her head thinking that she should have never saved Lexa from that pauna, no matter how much she loved her then. Clarke reaches for a strong stick and a rock to make a sharp spear to hopefully catch some fish that night. Once Clarke finally sharpens her spear to her liking, she unstably walks to the stream. Clarke half-heartedly jabs the home made spear into the river right by a fish that she can see because it's scaly skin reflected the moonlight but her spear comes out clean. She lets out an angry sigh when after 45 minutes of unsuccessful fishing time goes to waste.

Soon after, the blue-eyed girl walks down the stream and tries to keep her dirt smudged eyes open, her stomach would not let her do anything else but think about the need to eat. Clarke walks further into the forest to get some fire starting sticks to keep herself warm for the night when she spots a small cave where she can make a camp for a few nights.

She thinks to herself that this is a good spot to make a camp because it was mostly covered in leaves and thick trees with branches sewn by the color of green. Clarke restlessly tries to make a fire, resistant of the fact that it was freezing cold outside. Her arms had a layer of dirt and grime on them much like her legs. Clarke faces the fact that she will go another night starving in the cold. 

_Smoke and screams filled the air, and Clarke couldn't tell which was making it harder for her to breathe. The smoke clung to her mouth and nose, filling her lungs with this poisoned air. The fire was everywhere, all around her, and the heat seemed unbearable, nearly blistering her skin. However, the crackling of the fire was barely audible over the number of screams that filled the air. Clarke wanted to cover her ears, and for a moment she did, until she realized that it made no difference; no matter how hard she pressed the heals of her hands against her ears, the screams pierced through._

_She looked down as she took her hands away from her ears, and nearly screamed herself: she was standing on a pile of body parts, all bloody, many with bones piercing through the flesh that remained on them. Looking back up from the pile of appendages she stood on, figures started to take shape, some stumbling through the flames, some already fallen to the ground near her. Most of the people were Grounders, and they were all screaming. Some screamed from pain, others from fury. To her right, she saw Indra, holding the bloody stump that was all that remained of her right arm. She was glaring at Clarke, and her scream was one of uncontrolled fury. To her left, another Grounder who she didn't know laid on the ground, screaming from pain at the large piece of metal that had pierced through his abdomen, the wound bleeding heavily. Octavia stood over him, trying to help him, but when the girl looked up at Clarke, she gasped: half of Octavia's face had blistered, the skin deep red and raw, her hair singed down to her scalp. Nevertheless her eyes gleamed, twin beacons of blame and rage. She glared at Clarke, even as the man continued to scream in pain beside her. “What have you done?!” she cried furiously, her eyes piercing into Clarke,_ “How could you have let this happen?!”

The blue-eyed girl jerks up from her nightmares. She looks up, fully aware of everything around her and wonders what it was like to see the ark from the ground every day. When she stops staring at the beautiful blue sky, she looks to her left and finds a small square piece of dark red cloth, much like the blood that was on Lexa's face when she betrayed her, the package was tied by a thin tan string enclosing the contents inside like a present.

She slowly pulls the string to show the contents inside the dark red cloth. She found a dagger, much like Lexa's own, some dried meat, a few ingredients to make a remedy for the painful cut on her back, and a note. The note she first noticed and it was from Lexa. Clarke's spine shivered at the name but she continued reading, "I hope you are doing okay. I know you still hate me but I need you to understand the decision I made from where I was standing. I am sorry that I had to make that decision to save my people but my duty is to my people. I had my best hunters collect some meat for you, I knew you wouldn't bring much on your adventure of pain."

Clarke stood up and started walking a few feet into the forest from where the cloth was at the cave entrance. When she knew she was not so far from her cave but not too much into the wilderness she started yelling, looking up into the trees where she was sure grounders watched her,

"Alright, I know you are there and you know I am here. One of you must have sent Lexa's package to me. Tell me how many people she sent to follow me and we can talk. I do not want anything from your heda nor from you." Clarke was careful about her movement. She wanted to hear the grounders footsteps on the grounder or a branch snapping in the trees. She looked around and a few seconds later she got a response from a tall, buff grounder wearing dark leather and and had a braided beard.

"Our heda has given us orders since her decision at Mount Weather." The grounder paused "We will follow our orders until we greet our deaths." His green eyes penetrating into Clarkes's blue eyes.

"What exactly are your orders? Stalking me until I get you killed by my clumsiness or you get me killed?" The grounder did not look amused. "My orders are to protect you with my life, I will die for you to save your life." Clarke's facial expression was solid.

"You will not make me do anything," Clarke said "The 'All mighty' Commander" She continued her voiced covered with disrespect "Will have to face me if you want me to do anything." The grounder was confused, he thought Clarke did not want to see the commander

"My orders are clear. Protect you with my life. I will leave my guards to watch over you while I visit Polis"

All Clarke could think about then was the image of Lexa telling Clarke "Polis will change the way you think of us" and she wanted to cry, her eyes started to fill with tears but she did not let them out. Clarke started walking back to the cave where she had slept over night. She was sure that the grounders were following her even though she did not hear their footsteps walking back to her camp.

They had no weapons in their hand, they looked peaceful and had no false intentions but they were on high alert. Their coats are full of thick, brown fur and spikes sewn throughout. Clarke noticed their hands were crossed over their chests which Clarke thought was strange because she had never seen a grounder have their arms crossed, Lexa always had her arms behind her back, connected with her two hands.

"Leave" Clarke demanded.

"You are not afraid of us." The observant grounder replied

Clarke stood up, stiffly walking towards the grounder disrespectfully "I honestly doubt if the person who I talked to earlier going to Polis was lying about the 'orders from lexa' You still wouldn't hurt me. What would happen to you if your commander finds out you hurt me?"

Clarke let out a unenthusiastic laugh before continuing "I bet she would be pissed, I know she still cares about me even though I don't"

The grounders both noded and did as Clarke said. Left. Even though she didn't think they went far they went until Clarke couldn't see them in the shadows of the forest at night.

Clarke sat in her cave snacking on he dried meat the grounders had given her. She then dozed off on the rocky stones of her cave. When she woke up she noticed it was almost sun rise which means she had slept at least 5 hours. That was an accomplishment for Clarke as she was only sleeping for about an hour a night.

"Great" She said to herself, looking to her left she found a grounder asleep. She sighed, knowing that they would never leave her unless the commander ordered it. When she walked outside her cave the sun was beginning to rise and she saw the other grounder fishing and a few fish laying on the ground beside him.

Clarke slowly walked over to the grounder he looked too relaxed, too calm and it sent a shiver down Clarke's spine. She sat down next to him, crossing her legs at the rivers side.

"I know you wont leave me." Clarke stated

"You know the truth" He replied

"What's your name?" Clarke asked

"My name is Sebian" He says without taking his eyes off the river.

"My name is Clarke" She says

"I know what your name is Sky girl" The grounder stops fishing and turns his head to Clarke "Lexa would not have sent me to protect a random person." He sighs "You defeated the maunon, you do need protecting because your don't want to think about what happened then. I know this because I had to protect Lexa when she defeated her first war as heda, she ran away and didn't care about anything. She didn't want to think about what she had just done. She tortured herself much like you and I helped her go back."

He stands up and starts skinning the light blue fish "You torture yourself to not think of your past but who you are, you can't change." He continued. She growls "I don't want to think of my past" She turns around and stiffly walks back to the cave. She grabs her dagger Lexa had given her and started walking out to the forest when she hears a familiar voice from behind her "Kai tells me you were stubborn." The green-eyed beauty said. Clarke immediately stops walking, turns around with her arms swinging.

"You know I don't want to see you" Clarke bits out

"Orion said I must come for you to do anything, but it seems like you have not fought them which is an improvement" Lexa's gaze into Clarke's eyes told a million words without saying a single thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos! The next chapter will be updated next sunday.

Clarke's body is oh so restless.

She still wonders why Lexa cares to see her after Lexa was the one who betrayed Clark.

 "An improvement to what?" Clarke's voice a deep growl.

 "Last time a commander sent her highest guards to protect someone." Lexa replied

 "A commander has only done this once before?" Clarke's voice was full of disrespect

 "Yes, my people think something is wrong when a commander sends her highest guards to do something other than protect the commander."

 "What do you want Lexa? We both know you would not come here unless there is a reason." Clarke quickly exclaimed

  "I want you to understand the decision I made was never meant to be personal. I want you to see it from my point of view." Lexa's facial expression was solid.

  "I never meant to hurt you." Clarke fell to her knees, sobbing. Her hands over her face. Lexa ran over to comfort Clarke immediately. "Bants osir, Orion." Lexa hissed, sitting on the floor hugging Clarke. 

 "I'm sorry." Lexa whispered

 "Every night, I wanted to hate you.." Clarke sniffled. "But I just.. I can't. I can't bring myself to hate you.

Lexa looked at Clarke on the cold hard ground covered in leaves. She pushed Clarke's hair away from her face. "I won't ever leave you again. I promise" Clarke nodded as she tried to keep in her tears.

"I'm sorry." Clarke stuttered

 "Why are you sorry?" Lexa gazed into Clarke's teary eyes. "I'm crying in front of you, I made you go through all this trouble."

 "I chose to come and see you, Clarke. I don't care if you cry in front of me. I think it's cute even when it's supposed to be sad." Lexa helped Clarke get off the ground.

"Let's go back to the cave." Lexa paused "It's safer there"

When Clarke and Lexa got back to camp, Clarke noticed Orion was sitting down on a rock. _So that is where Orion went when Lexa told him to_   _leave._ Clarke thought to herself.              "Heda. The lunch is ready." Orion sternly said. Lexa replied with a few nods, Clarke could tell Lexa was about to cry.

*****

When they finished eating their freshly cooked beef, Clarke whispered to Lexa.

  "Tell them to leave the cave."

 "Bants!" Lexa exclaimed. The grounders replied with a single nod and got up to leave.

Clarke got up and sat closer to Lexa. Lexa's eyes followed Clarke as she moved.

 "You told me Polis will change the way I think of you," Clarke said, sitting down.

 "I did." Lexa's eyes were begging Clarke.

 "I.. I think I would like to go." Clarke gazed into Lexa's eyes. 

 "You will love it." Lexa reassured her.

 "When do we leave?"

 "I would like to clean the cut on your back before we leave." Lexa's voice was so calm but so joyful.

 "What's wrong?" Clarke frantically asked as Lexa's eyes started tearing up.

"No.. Nothing is wrong, I promise. I never thought you would forgive me after what I did. It broke me knowing you hate me when I care for you." Lexa stopped herself from crying

 "You still don't have my full trust, Lexa."

"I know, but at least you don't want to kill me anymore." Lexa knew C;arle wouldn't have tried to kill her. Hell, Lexa knew everything about Clarke.

 "I never would ha--" Clarke muttered.

 "I know." Lexa finished. Clarke wished she had the _mystical, majestic_ voice Lexa had.

Orion walked in the cave and handed Lexa a wet cloth and blue creme, then Orion slowly walked away.

 "Lift up the back of your shirt, please. I need to clean your cut." Lexa chuckled. Clarke did as Lexa said.

 "Your cut is infected, Clarke. You could have treated it. I know that you could have but you chose not to. _Think about the future._ " The words sank into Clarke's skin.

  _Think about the future_

_ The_ future.

 When Clarke's mind went back to reality, she hissed at the pain when Lexa cleansed the red-stained cut.

 "We must get going soon." Lexa told the still-sitting girl, Lexa walked to the front of Clarke. So their eyes met.

 "When we reach Polis," Lexa continued "It will probably be night, I will show you to the commander's quarters where you can rest. The next day I can give you a tour." Lexa paused once again, looking up to Clarke, grabbing her hands. Her gracious, green eyes tearing up.

 "I promise you won't think about the events at the _maunon_. Polis is full of joy and liveliness."

 *****

When Clarke woke up from her nap, She saw Lexa sitting down across the cave. She was unpacking a dark leather bag. She brought out a beautiful fur blanket and started walking towards Clarke.

 "Welcome back." Lexa said with a smile as she layed the blanket over the still sitting against the cave walls, Clarke.

 "Thank you." The blue-eyed girl looked up at Lexa "For everything." Clarke continued "Where did you get all the stuff?" Clarke asked

 "A nearby village." Lexa responded, turning around about to leave Clarke.

 "Wait.." Clarke sat up higher, Lexa turned around

 "What is it, Clarke?"

 "Can you sit with me? I know only for a few minutes, we must go soon." Clarke begged Lexa. The only response Clarke got was Lexa walking out of the cave.

  _"Fine. I guess you really don't care for me."_ Clarke murmured.

 "I do care, Clarke." Lexa said walking back into the cave with less armor on then when she left the cave, only a few moments ago. Lexa sat down by her. Clarke put the blanket on Lexa.

 "What did you do," Clarke looked into Lexa's eyes "When you left right now..?"

 "I told Sebian and Nikao to go hunting for the trip, I gave Orion my armor. He is watching the camp from the trees." Lexa whispered

 "I thought you didn't care about me and you just left. Like you did in Mt. Weather."

 "I would never." Lexa said, her voice so soothing. Clarke's hands running through Lexa's hair.

 "We must get up." Clarke's voice was steady. Lexa helped Clarke get back up.

Lexa sounded a small horn, It wasn't too loud but Sebian and Nikao came running back. Lexa said something to them both in trigedasleng which Clarke didn't understand. They both nodded and went to do different jobs.

******

When Clarke and Lexa got back from their walk in the forest, everything from the camp was packed up on four brown horses. The grounders were already sitting on their saddles.

 "Mochof" Lexa said walking to her horse.

 "Come, Clarke." Lexa's voice was loud but passionate. "We share a horse, It was all their village could spare and I would never leave them without supplies. Plus you could sleep on the way to Polis."

Clarke walked over to the horse and clumsily got on, the three grounders laughed at Clarke.

 "Shof Op." Lexa exclaimed, tightening her jaw. "You will not disrespect _Wanheda._ "

 Lexa got on to the horse after Clarke got settled. Lexa's horse went faster than the others, leaving the grounders a few feet behind Lexa.

 " _Wanheda?_ " Clarke quietly asked, leaning her head back on Lexa's shoulder

 " _Commander Of The Death._ " Lexa replied "My people call you Wanheda because you slayed the _maunon._ "

Clarke just chuckled. The rest of the trip no one talked, they only made two or three stops to relieve themselves. They ate on the way to Polis. When Clarke awoke she saw enormous metal plates put together to make walls to protect their beloved capitol.

Lexa whispered to Clarke "Polis is full of joy in the day."

 "I know." Clarke said going back to sleep. The next thing she knew, Clarke was laying down on a fur-lined bed with Lexa a few feet away, curled up on a chair.

 "Come lay with me." Clarke whispered "You look uncomfortable"

"Are you sure?" Lexa replied

" I am sure." Clarke sat up and patted the sheets next to her. Lexa layed down on the other side of the bed, not touching Clarke.

********

When Clarke woke up, Lexa was lying next to her.

 "Good morning" Lexa whispered, Clarke could tell that Lexa wasn't too close to Clarke but not so far away. Clarke turned around to look at the smiling, Lexa.

 "Is it love?" Clarke asked once she was alert.

 "What?" Lexa quickly said

 "I wanted to hate you out there. I wanted to kill the grounders that sent me your package. Although, I must admit it saved me, I hated that all my brain could think was 'Forgive her' But I was too weak" Clarke slowly sat up, her thumbs twirling lexa's brown hair.

 "One might say it is." Lexa sat up, holding Clarke's wrists lightly. "I would wish for it to be." Lexa admitted

 Clarke sighed, "Can we start the tour in a few hours?"

 "Yes, I will have a handmaiden prepare a bath for you. I must go to a meeting but I will be back soon." Lexa got up and walked out, still in her pajamas. Probably to go change in her room.

Clarke stepped out onto the balcony, she saw a crowd already generating, looking up to her. In the center of Polis. Clarke was so high she wondered how everyone could see her. She was happy, for once Clarke was really happy.

 Clarke scrambled through the clothes in the wooden closet. She then found a neatly folded outfit with a handwritten note on it.

  _"The commander had me hand make this outfit for you, I hope it fits. Come downstairs and I will have your bath ready. Then you may put these on, Hedatu armor is only worn once you have bathed."_

_********  
_

When Clarke found the room where a handmaiden was standing, lighting a flame under the bathtub. Clarke was surprised, The handmaiden bowed her head in appreciation

 "Thank you, so much." Clarke's voice was excited and fast

 "There is no need for thanks, Wanheda." The handmaiden continued, "You saved my people from the _maunon_. I am in your debt."

 "No, No you are not. I expect nothing from anyone. I only did what was right for our people." Clarke's jaw tightened, thinking about the mountain. She got undressed while the handmaiden turned away.

 "What's your name?" Clarke said as she stepped in the bath

 "My name is Taiomi." She replied, saying out the clothes Clarke brought down on a crate.

 "Do your people leave while taking a bath?"

 "Not unless we are requested to." Taiomi turned around. "Heda said you like company so I was requested to stay."

 "That reminds me, What does _Hedatu_ mean?" Clarke looked up.

 "Second in command. Did Heda not ask you yet? _Oh no..._ I am so sorry. I didn't know that you didn't know.. She sees true power in you, No one has ever been named _Hedatu_ yet. Alexandria will be the first Heda to trust someone with her and her peoples' lives.

 Clarke sat up more straight.

 "She.." Clarke whispered

 "She loves you.." Taiomi finished. "She refuses to admit her love about you to anyone, but I saw the expression in her face when Orion came with your message. She ran out of her room without talking to anyone or grabbing anything. Orion had to run after her, he grabbed her sword and dagger because she wouldn't. I saw the joy and relief in her eyes, She was practically jumping around in her head." The black-haired girl said.

 "Really?" Clarke's eyebrows dipped in surprise.

 "Really. I have never seen a commander in love. Nor do I think a commander has ever been in so much love. But you do make her think about the future, she wants to live until the future. She wants to live for **you.** Commander's are supposed to think of the present, their nightbloods will control the future. Lexa wants to live. She wants to protect you. Make sure you are okay. She begs to life forever with **you.** "

Clarke's eyes started to tear up.

 "I will go tell Nikao to prepare for your arrival." Taiomi said softly. She stood up, accidentally knocking over the barrel she previously sat on.

 "My arrival for what?"

 "After this, you will go to Nikao. He will braid your hair in the _Commander's Circle_." She responded

 "What's a Commander's circle?" Clarke asked

 "Only one person has even worn it. But everyone knows what it looks like. It is a special braid in your hair representing that you are under **personal** protection from Heda. She requested you wear it, if you like."

"I would." Clarke started to rinse out the shampoo in her hair. Clarke got out of the bathtub when her hair was fully rinsed. Taiomi left the room swiftly. Clarke thought to herself _Hedatu.. Wonder how much Titus would like me being Heda.."_ She laughed and shook her head. Clarke had met Titus once before Mt. Weather. He definitely hated Clarke.

********

When Clarke walked out of the candle-lit room she had just took a shower in, She went back upstairs to her room. The two guards standing outside the room nodded and opened the door as Clarke walked in.

 "Wanheda.." A stern-voiced grounder who looked like a guard was by her balcony.

 "Who are you?" Clarke hissed. She pulled out her dagger from her new armor, gripping it tightly and slowly walking towards him.

 "I am Nikao." He was clearly calm even though she had a dagger in her hand.

 "You are to do my hair?" Clarke growled

 "Yes, heda requested that you wear the Commander's circle." Nikao turned around to look out into Polis.

 "Give me a few minutes please." Clarke's voice was still low. She walked towards her bathroom, opening what looked to be toothpaste and grabbing a toothbrush. She opened the toothpaste which was mint green. She continued to brush her teeth until her gums hurt. Clarke sat down on the bed, putting on the dark grey, knee high boots.

 "Are you ready, Clarke?" Nikao started to walk towards her.

 "Yes." Clarke took out the dagger from her outfit and twirled it in her hands, when she notices there are words engraved in Trigedeslang. Nikao braided her hair swiftly.

********

"Mochof" Clarke shouted to Nikao as Lexa walked into Clarke's room.

 "What does it mean?" Clarke turned around to look at the now-sitting Lexa.

 "What does what mean?" Lexa asked.

 Clarke rubbed her thumb over the engraved letters on her dagger.

 "Clarke Kom Skaikru." Lexa paused and looked up at Clarke "Attack her and you attack me."

Clarke gently hugged Lexa. "Thank you." Clarke whispered

"No need for thanks." Lexa stood up, off the bed, took off most of her armor. Then she walked over to Clarke and kneeled down.

  **"Clarke kom skaikru, Would you grant me the honor to make you the first _Hedatu_ , in any case you need to make a decision while I am away?"**

"No.. No, I need some time to think about it, I only just got here in Polis yesterday." Clarke said, getting up and pacing around the room.

Lexa just nodded in surprise.. 

Titus walked into the room.

 "What is she  doing walking around the commander's quarters wearing Hedatu armor? Titus growled, his eyes narrowed to the now standing Lexa.

 "She said no.." Lexa told Titus. "You do not have a say in my decisions." Lexa growled. Clarke was paused in the corner.

 "Heda, You are making a foolish decision!" Titus bit out.

 "You will not judge me!" Lexa's voice raised "I see true strength in Clarke. You do not get to judge anything to do with me and her!" Lexa exclaimed "Leave"

Lexa followed Titus out when suddenly Taiomi walked in.

 "How much did you see?" Clarke asked

 "Everything. I have to admit is was beautiful seeing Lexa bow before someone. She showed true weakness in front of you. She fought her own teacher for you. I was right, she is truly in love." Taiomi finished

 "When will Lexa be bathing?"

"I believe she is there now, getting ready for your tour." Taiomi responded

 "Can you distract her while I drop a note aside her?" Clarke asked

"Yes" Taiomi gave clarke a blank piece of thick paper and a pen.

  _"Yes."_ Is all that Clarke wrote on the note. They walked down to the room Clarke just took a bath in an hour ago. Taiomi entered first with water and set it on the opposite side of the entrance while Clarke put the note on the table by the bathtub.

 "Thank you." Lexa said, taking a sip of the water. She then turned around and saw the note. When Lexa read it, her smile grew. She knew what Clarke was saying  _Yes_ to. She wanted to become _Hedatu._ Lexa than saw Clarke look at her in the doorway and Clarke swiftly walked away, smiling.

 

 

 

                             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I loved the ending.
> 
> Trigedaslang Translations: 
> 
> Mochof- Thank you
> 
> Bants, Osir- Leave us
> 
> Sha Heda- Yes, commander


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa walked into Clarke's room, knocking on the doorway. Clarke looked up to see the relaxed Commander,

 "Lexa." Clarke said out of surprise. She walked away from the balcony.

 "Are you ready for the tour, _Wanheda_?" Lexa paused "My people are begging to see you."

 "Yes.." Clarke let out a little laugh.

 "You will become _Hedatu_ in a days time. My people need time to get ready for your ceremony. Your ceremony is supposed to be almost as grand as mine when I became _Heda_."

 "Really?" Clarke's eyes brightened

Lexa nodded.

 "Why aren't you in your full Commander outfit?" Clarke asked

 "I only wear my shoulder piece when in war. The rest is my normal Commander outfit." Lexa's voice was full of joy.

 "Come. We must annouce you to the Ambassadors." Lexa stood there until Clarke walked towards the doorway. Lexa lead the way to her throne room.

 "Rise for your Commander!" Titus roared when he saw Lexa and Clarke's shadow in the doorway.

Lexa walked in, her chin high and her back straight. Clarke followed behind her, looking at the 12 ambassadors sitting on their chairs around the room with their clan symbols painted on.

 "At ease." Lexa sat on her throne, Clarke was still standing in the doorway where no one but Lexa and Titus could see her.

 "I am pleased to annouce that the first _Hedatu_ has been named." Lexa shouted throughout the room.

 "Enter" Lexa observed the Ambassadors' expressions around the room.

Clarke entered the throne room, she could feel all the eyes on her. She walked straight towards Lexa and walked behind The Commander. She was standing to her left, parallel to Titus who stood on her right. Clarke stood firmly by Lexa.

"Clarke Kom Skaikru has been named our first _Hedatu!"_ Lexa secretly smiled at Clarke. "Her ceremony will be in a days time. Alert your clans immediately!" Lexa walked out of the throne room with Clarke following.

 "You did good considering the fact that I forgot to tell you what to do." The ends of Lexa's lips raised to show the tiniest smile.

Lexa slowed down to walk aside Clarke.

 "We must announce your ceremony to the people." Lexa and Clarke walked downstairs to the ground. Lexa sounded a horn which made everyone come running and formed a crowd outside the doors. Lexa and Clarke walked out of the doors.

 " _Hedatu_ ceremony will be in a day." Lexa shouted "Do your duties!"

It started to rain right after that which made Clarke not want to take a tour full tour, plus she figured it would be different since everyone was preparing.

 "Where would you like to go?" Lexa's voice was so soft, so gentle.

 "Somewhere not here." Clarke chuckled.

 "You will train with Titus then." Lexa said "I will be there with you but you must learn how our culture and becoming _Hedatu_ requires knowledge that you must learn."

 "Fine." Clarke rolled her eyes.

Lexa met Aden on the way to Titus.

 "Heda." Aden bowed "May I walk with you?"

 "Yes, Aden you may."Lexa smiled at the young boy.

 " _Hedatu._ " Aden bowed once more "You will make a great _Second In Command,_ Clarke.

 "Thank you, Aden." Clarke stumbled on a rock from the ground, Aden ran infront of the unfocused, Lexa who was looking behind her at someone yelling her name.

 "Lexa."  Clarke said sternly. Lexa turned around quickly to see Clarke and Aden standing infront of her.

 "I'm sorry.." Lexa shook her head.

 "Can I talk to him, privately?" Clarke eyes narrowed

 "Yes. Stay close." Lexa gently demanded.

 "When I am done I will find you." Clarke walked away with Aden following her.

When they reached a garden in Polis, Clarke pulled up vines with blue flowers sprouting over them allowing Aden to walk in.

 "Titus says this is weakness." Aden told her

 "Sometimes, It isn't." Clarke whispered "I want to get to know you more. Can you come to my room after training?"

 "Sha, Hedatu." Aden replied standing up.

 "Call me Clarke." She said.

Aden nodded and leaded the way out of the green, gracious garden.

********

When Clarke and Lexa reached Titus' underground Flamekeipa room, Titus was already waiting for them.

 "You lied to me." Titus hissed

 "She changed her mind." Lexa sternly glarred at Titus.

 "You will teach her the lessons you taught me. Only the necessary, though." Lexa continued.

Clarke walked around Titus' room when she walked over the the pod in the corner and exclaimed,

 "Polaris!" Clarke turned around as Lexa and Titus finished their argument.

 "Its pronounced Polis. I thought you knew that.." Lexa told Clarke.

 "No it isn't." Clarke shouted, shuffling through books on the wooden shelves. "You and my peoples' beliefs are almost the exact same. I already know everything you could possibly teach me.  On the ark, I read the journal of Becca."

 "The first commander." Lexa finished, trying to keep up.

 "Inside she told everything from being a nightblood to the pillars of being Heda." Clarke frantically walked back towards the capsule, pointing to the letters.

 "What is it, clarke?" Lexa followed her, along with Titus.

 "They are burnt off." Clarke paused "The 'A' and the 'R' in Polaris."

 "And..?" Lexa asked

 "Polaris was the 13th station on the ark. Becca wouldn't let the station join the others, instead she sent herself to the ground and became the first commander soon after the missiles were launched." Clarke responded

 "So you are saying you know the culture of us?" Titus asked

 "Yes" Clarke nodded "I know almost it all. Maybe not what happened after Becca died but I do know much."

 "It will take me a few weeks to teach her everything after Becca." Titus said to Lexa.

 "Don't forget training." Clarke shouted behind her shoulder.

 "I will train you, Clarke." Lexa replied.

 "I will start her training after her ceremony." Titus' voice was raised.

 "Let's go, Clarke. Titus must train the nightbloods." Clarke followed Lexa out.

 "I'm happy you know much about our culture. It gives me more time with you." Lexa muttered.

*****

 "Taiomi..?" Clarke whispered into the room.

 "Yes, Clarke?" She stopped wiping down the table.

 "Thank you." Clarke looked behind her to make sure Lexa wasn't there. "Can you take a walk with me?"

 "It's raining. I can't these are my only clean clothes." Taiomi stuttered.

 "I'll get you new ones. Come." Clarke's voice was humble.

 "What is the purpose of the walk?" Taiomi grabbed her canteen full of water.

 "No purpose, just talk." Clarke smiled.

 They walked out the doors when Clarke heard a voice.

 "Clarke!"

 "Clarke!"

She knew that voice, it was Lexa. Clarke quickly ran over to Lexa.

 "Taiomi get inside!" Clarke called

 "What's wrong?" Clarke frantically asked Lexa.

 "We need to get you inside. It's safer in there then out here. We have much to discuss and there might be traitors here in Polis who are after you and me."

Lexa walked fast with Clarke following.

Once the doors were closed to the giant building in the center of Polis Lexa told Clarke,

 "Ice nation has attacked." Lexa caught her breathe. "Your people counted 30.. maybe more." Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes.

 "Wait.. Ice nation attacked my people?" Clarke questioned

 "Yes. Good thing for you, Luna killed them while she was trading with Arkadia." Lexa said 

Two grounders walked behind them, handing Lexa and Clarke almost identical shoulder pieces. They both had dark red cloth hanging down from the surprisingly comfortable piece. The grounders left soon after, without saying a word.

 "We are preparing for war, Clarke." Lexa looked to her side "Here in Polis I can promise their safety, there I cannot. They are apart of my coalition and it's my job to protect them."

Clarke responded with a few nods. Clarke knew we were near the throne room when she heard Titus calming everything down.

 "I walk behind you and go to your left?" Clarke whispered

 "Yes." Lexa straightened her back and took a deep breath.

As the door opened with Clarke and Lexa walking in Titus called once again,

 "Rise."

Lexa walked in to her throne with Clarke following.

"At ease." Lexa sat down.

 "What is the purpose of this meeting?" An ambassador asked

 "Azgeda has attacked our coalition. They betrayed us. We are going to war." Lexa quickly glanced at Clarke.

 "We attacked Skaikru, not the coalition." The ice nation Ambassador stood up, growling at Lexa.

 "Skaikru is the 13th clan. We are making their throneroom chair soon, just because they are not in our presence does not mean they are not in the coalition." Lexa bit out, " _Frag em op."_ She looked towards Titus.

 "Sha heda." Titus walked down to the ambassador and beat him unconscious, carrying him to a jail cell.

 "I will tell the clans with my fastest riders. We must give this all we have." Lexa walked out with Clarke.

 "I will get Taiomi to come." Lexa walked down stairs

 "Taiomi will be in danger. She is not a warrior." Clarke called out.

 "She was a warrior until the _maunon_ captured her. She trains twice a week which is more than you." Lexa admitted.

Clarke grabbed a rolled up map from the sides of the stairs and threw it at Lexa when Clarke realized she had a bow pointed to her head from a grounder 

"Put it down, Taurus." Lexa muttered

 "She threatened you, Heda." Taurus bit out

 "She did not mean harm. You will not disrespect the Second In Command."

 "I am sorry, Lexa." Taurus said.

Clarke was surprised he did not call her Commander or Heda. He called her Lexa..

 "Who is he?" Clarke whispered

 "He is my brother."

Clarke had many expressions mixed with many emotions, mostly confusion.

 "Why would Nia take Costia from you but not Taurus?"

Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes. Clarke knew she shouldn't have brought it up.

 "Azgeda does not know about Taurus, they did know about Costia." Lexa paused to twirl her fingers together. "I was a foolish Commander."

 "I'm sorry.." Clarke lead the way to outside.

Lexa sounded a horn from the raised platform they were standing on. Hundreds of people came running. Everyone. Man, woman, child.

"The Hedatu ceremony will have to wait! Know that Clarke Kom Skaikru will be from here on out pronounced Hedatu! Lexa's voice was fierce throughout the crowd "We are going to war! Her ceremony will be after we come out of Azgeda, after we have won this war!"

Everyone cheered and chanted "Clarke Kom Skaikru! Hedatu!"

Lexa smiled and looked to Clarke.

"My people approve." Lexa's smile grew.

 "It looks like they do." Clarke laughed

 "We must go to Taiomi."

 "You do not need to be sorry, Clarke." Lexa said once they were behind closed doors. "It is my fault she is dead. But it is time to avenge her with the Queen's life."

 "Taiomi!" Clarke called from down the hall. Taiomi ran into the hallway

 "What's wrong?" She looked at Lexa and Clarke. She noticed they had their shoulder pieces on which mean't war.

 "I will get ready. Where will you be?" She realized

 "We will be in my room." Lexa said before grabbing Taiomi's lower arm "We are going against Azgeda, do not stress yourself. Clarke has requested you to stay safe as much as you can. She cares about you and I thank you for that." Lexa whispered but loud enough for Clarke to hear.

Taiomi smiled and nodded.

******

Lexa grabbed her sword from the shelf, rubbing her thumb over part of the handle so lightly but Clarke realized it.

 "What's **it** mean?" The sitting girl questioned

 "This is the sword I will slay Nia with. 'For Costia'. I had it made for the war I knew was coming, someday."

Lexa pushed the silver sword into the holder of her armor, taking her normal sword out and put it on the wooden shelf.

 "Here." Lexa motioned to come.

Lexa pulled out another long sword from the shelf, still in it's casing. Clarke attached it to her waist before taking the bright, long sword out. Clarke smiled when she looked towards Lexa

 "Whats this one mean?" Clarke knew there were words engraved even if she couldn't find them yet.

 "Jus drein Jus daun." Lexa said

 "And on the blade?" Clarke pointed to the words by the tip of the sword.

 "Clarke Kom Trikru." Lexa held the sword with Clarke.

 "On the way I will help you train."

Clarke put the sword back in its case. She then grabbed Lexa's hand and held it tightly.

 "Thank you." was all Clarke said.

 "Heda." A guard opened the door, "The 11 clans' armies are here."

 "Thank you" Lexa turned around to look back at the confused Clarke.

 "11 clans? If the Trikru army is already here, then who is the 11th?" Clarke asked

 "The skaikru army." Lexa walked to the bed. "Your mother requested to send her people when our riders came. It would save us time. Your mother is coming."

 "No!" Clarke demanded walking towards Lexa

 "You will talk about it when I summon her up."

Lexa walked into the doorway

 "Bring Abigail Kom Skaikru up here. Now" Lexa demanded to the guards.

 " Clarke..." Lexa sat back down on the bed. "If I don't make it out.. _Ai Hod Yu In._ " Clarke kissed Lexa's forehead when Taiomi walked in.

 "Sorry..!" Taiomi quickly walked out when she noticed they were having a private moment.

 "Come in.." Clarke laughed

 "Sorry.." Taiomi shook her head in the awkwardness.

 "It is fine. We called you up and you did as you were told." Lexa got up from the bed.

 

 " **Clarke Kom Skaikru!** " Abby angrily called from the candle-lit hallway

 "It's Trikru." Clarke walked out from Lexa's room.

 "What the hell?!" Abby walked in "Second In Commander?! What were you thinking?"

Taiomi moved into the back of the room..

 "Mother!" Clarke bit out, rolling her eyes.

 "I made a decision you do not get a say in." Clarke growled

 "Fine. But you are Skaikru." Abby shouted

 "I am not." Clarke shook her head. "I am Trikru now and **you** must accept that."

 "Like hell I do."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter will be up on Sunday! <3 
> 
> Trigedaslang Translations:
> 
> Wanheda- Commander of death  
> Hedatu- Second in command  
> Kom- from  
> Skaikru- Sky people  
> Trikru- Tree people  
> Azgeda- Ice nation  
> Sha- Yes  
> Flamekeipa- Flame Keeper (Titus)  
> Frag Em Op- Kill him  
> Jus Drein Jus Daun- Blood must have blood.


	4. Chapter 4

 "Leave us." Clarke ended the argument as Abby walked down the window-lit hallway.

 "First day being Hedatu.. I'm already getting yelled at and we leave for war soon." Clarke let out a dry laugh.

 "You're off to an adventurous start." The tips of Lexa's lips raising to show a small smile.

 "What is our plan for war?" Clarke slowly walked towards Lexa who was still standing in the back of her room.

 "We surround them, assassins in the trees. Our army will go into the city from different areas. We have a few Azgeda warriors helping us."

 "Are you sure they are trustworthy?" Taiomi questioned

 "I know they are tustworthy. I blended them in with scouts. They have been giving me information, They couldn't escape to meet me for a few weeks which is why I didn't know about the attack on Arkadia. I'm sorry." Lexa informed Taiomi and Clarke.

Lexa sighed and turned around to look at Taiomi, "Please make sure our horses are ready then wait at the gate. I will be out in a few minutes."

Taiomi replied with a firm nod.

 

Once the two were alone, Clarke swiftly walked up to Lexa who was concentrating on something else, her spine straight. Lexa didn't even realize Clarke was walking towards her until Clarke pressed her steady, warm lips against Lexa's. It reminded Clarke about the kiss before Mt. Weather, except it was quicker and much, much more unexpected.

 "I love you." Clarke slowly cupped Lexa's cheek so gently, letting a tear flow free. "Don't leave me."

Lexa replied with a few nods. Clarke pulled Lexa's hand out of the room when Taiomi appeared waiting in the hallways.

 "I tried to leave through the front door but the guards told me the armies are outside the door, they are waiting for your command."

 "Ride by us. Clarke won't let you out of sight." Lexa smiled. Taiomi walked off to get her horse from another direction.

 "So your warriors are capable of having emotions?" Clarke questioned as they walked down the stairs.

 "Yes, Clarke. Everyone is capable of having emotions, sometimes you just have to think with her head and not your heart. Sometimes it will get you killed if you have emotions. Sometimes, it is okay."

Two guards opened the massive doors to see thousands of warriors.

 "Heda!"

 "Hedatu!" Everyone chanted as Lexa walked out with Clarke.

 "Shof op." Lexa's voice was a deep roar. Everyone because quiet to look at their commander. Clarke was stunned by how quickly everyone became silent. The only sounds she head was birds chirping in the distance.

 "We will surround Azgeda! Archers in the trees while we march there. We surround them, taking out their defenses one by one." Lexa's voice was full of wantful revenge.

Clarke looked around, trying to find the sky people's group of warriors ready to fight.

 "I need to find Octavia." Clarke said, Lexa could barely hear over all the shouting and chattering.

 "Follow me." Lexa walked to the side, stepping down the platform and making a path through the warriors.

**********

"Octavia!" Clarke called when she finally saw her old friend. Octavia quickly looked towards the direction her name came from, trying to find Clarke in the sea of grounders. Octavia quickly ran up to Clarke, hugging her until her arms hurt.

 "Lincoln did your hair?" Clarke assumed when she let go of the friendly hug.

 "Yes." Octavia smirked "There is rumors you are Trikru now. You are lucky." she joked.

 "When the war is over I will ask if you can be Trikru." Clarke was serious. Octavia's eyes brightened at the thought.

 "Thank you." She replied

 "Where is Lincoln?" Clarke questioned, tilting her head to look at the rest of the group.

 "He had to stay to protect arkadia." Octavia said sadly.

Clarke went to hug everyone else before pulling Octavia's arm away from the group to follow Lexa.

 "Where are we going?" Octavia yelled to Clarke

 "You will ride beside us. It was requested by the _Second in Command"_ Clarke yelled from behind her shoulder. O could barely hear from all the shouting

 "I never knew there was a Second in Command." Octavia laughed "Wait.. It's you isn't it?"

Clarke stopped running through the crowd to hug Octavia once more.

 "I'm the first Hedatu." Clarke whispered into Octavia's ear.

 "Congrats, Clarke." Octavia said before they ran again. Lexa was standing by the stables, her arms crossed over her chest.

 "Took you long enough." Lexa smiled gently.

 "I had to tell her." Clarke walked into the wooden stables, astonished of the size, Clarke walked around to look at all the horses, getting lost in their beauty.

 "I want her to become one of us." Clarke whispered, Lexa nodded.

 "Octavia." Lexa called "Your horse." She pointed to a long haired dark brown horse, few pouches already attached to the back of the saddle.

 "Thanks." Octavia jumped onto the horse and brushed the back of it's mane. Her hands ran through the flowy brown hair with not a single tangles, It's hair was as soft as a pillow.

 Lexa led Clarke to her horse which was as black as the nights sky before getting on her own. The three girls met Taiomi who was on her horse at the gate, arguing with a guard.

 "You look great in your armor." Clarke nudged Taiomi's arm with her elbow.

 "Thanks." She replied as the four girls lead the armies out of the grand gates of Polis.

 "Leidon, houm. Mebi oso na hit choda nodotaim." Lexa whispered as she looked back to Polis. (Goodbye, home. May we meet again.)

 "Are you ready, Clarke?" Lexa moved her horse closer to Clarke's.

 "I'm a little scared about training. We must get a lot in before we reach Azgeda." Clarke said

 "We can sneak out for an hour if we ride faster than everyone else." Lexa paused "You may come too, Octavia." Lexa saw the joy explode in Octavia.

 "Wouldn't your warriors question where we were?" Clarke asked as her head slanted.

 "My army will not question me." Lexa replied.

Taiomi's horse caught up with Lexa's,

 "Indra is worried about Clarke's new position." Taiomi sadly stated. Lexa replied with a strong nod, her jaw visibly tightening. Clarke noticed the displease in Lexa.

 "You will join us, Taiomi." Lexa looked over to the light brown haired girl. "We will ride a few hours ahead of the army to train Clarke." Lexa finished.

 "When do we speed up? Taiomi looked down at her loose pouch to tighten it. She looked up and everyone was already feet ahead of her.

*********

Lexa helped Clarke tie her horse to a thin tree.

 "Thank you." Clarke's voice was so shallow.

 "Your welcome." Lexa rested her hand against Clarke's right shoulder.

 "We will train with our swords." They all met together in a spot where there was few trees.

 "Shouldn't  you have brought atleast a few guards?" Octavia said.

 "I am more than capable of handling myself, should I need too. Plus I have three guards, I know you all are good fighters." Lexa paused to whisper in Clarke's ear "I know you won't let me die." Clarke smiled

 "We don't have forever. Chat on your love horses, let's train." Octavia laughed

 "I will fight with Clarke. Octavia fight with Taiomi. Lexa continued "Go easy, I wouldn't like anyone to be injured before war."

Lexa grabbed her sword along with Clarke,

 "You start." Clarke challenged Lexa.

Clarke managed to block all of Lexa's strikes. She surrounded the blonde, observing her steady movements. Lexa tried to strike Clarke once again, she managed to knock Clarke onto the ground. A few seconds later, Clarke spun up to the ground, kicking the back of Lexa's knee causing Lexa to fall face first on the snowy ground.

 "Your a natural." Lexa called out, circling Clarke.

Clarke struck part of the sword at Lexa's arm, knowing if Clarke successfully hit Lexa, It wouldn't hurt. Lexa kicked Clarke's sword out of her hand before stopped sparring.

 "Sanch!" Lexa called to Taiomi and Octavia who were sparring a few feet away.

 "I will go get logs to start a fire." Lexa said, walking away from the others who were sitting down on a log which was covered in snowflakes.

 "I'm coming with you!" Clarke ran after Lexa.

 "You did not have to come, Clarke." Lexa whispered when they were far enough that Octavia and Taiomi couldn't see them.

 "I chose to. I wanted to come." Clarke smiled, remembering the words Lexa said when she saved Clarke in the forest before.

Lexa pushed Clarke softly into a rough, scaly tree. Their shoulder pieces clanking together, before she leaned in to kiss the blonde. Lexa stopped the slow kiss a few long seconds after.

 "We must go." Lexa sighed, shaking her head. "After the war is over, I promise." She bit her lip in sadness.Clarke gathered a few logs from under the snowy ground, running after Lexa who was already walking back to camp.

 "Took you long enough." Octavia quoted Lexa's words she used before.

 "Make the fire." Lexa scolded Octavia.

 "Woah. Woah.. Don't kill me I was just joking." Octavia raised her hands in surrender.

 "If you want to join me, I request you make a fire. It is a basic need in survival." Lexa's voice was more gentle but still firm.

Octavia quickly made a fire with a few sticks and a rock.

 "Good." Was all Lexa said, after a few minutes of getting warm, Lexa stood up.

 "Two groups. It's time to hunt." Taiomi stomped out the first and walked north with Clarke. "10 minutes. I can't sound a horn or my warriors will hear." Lexa walked into the thick, white fog of the snowy forest. Her coat dragging a path in the snow.

 

"She loves you back, Lexa." Octavia smirked

 "You think?" Lexa whispered, her heart jumping around inside of her.

"Oh..My..God.. Have you seen the way she looks at you?!" O practically yelled.

 "I am not good at reading people, unlike Clarke reads me." Lexa smiled "Thank you."

 "Why are you thanking me? You saved Clarke and I am thankful to you for that." Octavia playfully narrowed her eyebrows.

 "Clarke told me when you were first on the ground, you saved her many times and for that I thank you." Lexa smiled "I wouldn't have her without you."

 "You're welcome." Octavia replied

A few silent seconds later, Lexa tapped Octavia's shoulder and put a finger over her mouth. Octavia knew that Lexa had found an animal. Lexa swiftly pounced on a panther that was hiding behind a thick tree.

 *******

When Lexa and Octavia walked back to camp, Clarke and Taiomi were sitting by the now re-lit fire.

 "Empty handed, I see." Lexa joked

 "We went on a wrong path." Clarke defended. Lexa cooked everyone's meat from the panther. Everyone ate silently, barely moving. Octavia met Lexa's eyes, She jerked her head towards Clarke, Lexa looked at Clarke who was staring at Lexa, barely eating. She just smiled.

Lexa stood up, stretching her arms.

"We must get going." Lexa said, walking off in the direction of their horses.

 "If you want to even try to hide your love for Lexa, I suggest you don't stare at her 24/7." Octavia snapped her fingers to get Clarke back to reality.

 "Fineeee.." Clarke widened her eyes.

Lexa brought back all four horses a few minutes later.

 "Thank you." Clarke said to Lexa as she helped her saddle the black horse, a few snowflakes covering it's body.

"Heda." Taiomi got Lexa's attention "I hear them"

Lexa nodded and leaded the way back to her warriors.

 

Indra fiercly stared at Lexa and the others blending in with the crowd. "Heda." Her voice covered with disrespect.

Lexa swiftly pulled out her sword and held it at Indra's throat while still walking.

 "You will not disrespect me." Lexa pushed the side of the sword into Indra's neck, showing the faintest line of red. "I was training Clarke and Octavia." Lexa growled

"Yes, Heda." Indra said and walked away, vanishing in the sea of grounders.

"Lexa!" Octavia bit out.

 "I understand she was your mentor. But she disrespect me."

Lexa cut Octavia off, her eyes piercing O's skin. "Atleast I didn't kill her unlike your people killed my mentor." Lexa swallowed

 

She looked over to Taiomi, as she took a deep breath. "Send a rider to each clan, we will make camp here before we reach Azgeda territory." Lexa's voice was once again gentle.

 "Aren't we already in Azgeda territory?" Taiomi asked, her horse leaning outwards to prepare for leaving.

 "No." Lexa replied. Taiomi slowly rid away.

 "Stay by me, Clarke. I am not letting you out of my sight. This is your first war and I would love for you to live through it." Lexa smiled but didn't move her head so her warriors couldn't see.

 "Ai hod yu in." Clarke whispered

"Ai hod yu in, Hedatu." Lexa's smile only grew.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another new chapter! Hope you liked,
> 
> Trigedaslang Translations:  
> Hedatu- Second In Command  
> Azgeda-Ice Nation  
> Shof Op- Quiet or Shut Up  
> Trikru- Tree People


	5. Chapter 5

 "You should rest, Clarke." Lexa took her dark green eyes off the blonde and looks towards the temporary bed which was a few blankets layed on the floor in layers along with a smooth pillow.

 "Please" Lexa begged the girl who was practically falling over from tiredness.

 "Will you leave?" Clarke asked, closing her eyes for a long second

 "Would you like me to give you privacy?" Lexa sadly whispered

 "Never." Clarke's voice was so affectionate, so softly-spoken. The blonde quickly fell asleep between the silky blankets.

 

 "Hello, Octavia." Lexa whispered so Clarke wouldn't awake.

Lexa definitely was not an expression reader but she clearly saw the worry in Octavia's face.

"What is wrong?" Lexa's eyes frantically moved between Octavia and Clarke.

"They know we are coming." Octavia paused "Flaming arrows were shot through the sky."

Lexa paced around her tent, which was set up much like the tent by Mt. Weather. She tried to think of all the possible scenarios of how we enter but Clarke stays safe.

" _No way"_

_"I need you."_

The words flew around in Lexa's brain when Clarke saved her because Clarke made a mental promise to keep Lexa safe at all costs, Lexa would do the same. Lexa would die for this woman who landed on the ground, barely making it out alive.

  _"Life is about more than just surviving"_ Lexa and her have come so far, beat all odds, did what was necessary to survive. So many emotions, so much sadness between the two. The weight of the world between them. They control all the clans, they get through everything **together**. The two had such sad lives, so much commotion, yet they find time to be together any time they can. She couldn't lose her. They have just started building back up.

 "Bring me Taiomi. Now" Lexa's jaw tightened as Octavia walked out. "Wait." Lexa called to Octavia. "Bring me all the field commanders also." Lexa started to put her traditional warpaint on in her spare time before waking Clarke up.

 " _Clarke"_

_"Clarke"_ Lexa whispered, her voice barely to be heard. The blonde slowly turned over to look at Lexa

 "What.." Clarke's voice was strained,slow, and still tired. "I've only been asleep for what..? An hour..?" Clarke was now annoyed

 "Wake up. Azgeda knows we are coming and the field commanders are on their way for a meeting." Lexa ignored Clarke's question. Clarke set upright, putting her knee-high, grey boots on.

 "Who is commanding Skaikru?" Clarke muttered

 "Octavia. She went to get all the other field commanders."

Clarke just nodded, rubbing her eyes to finalize Lexa's face, the warpaint making her remember all the memories.

 " _I do trust you, Clarke."_

 " _Polis will change the way you think of us."_

_"Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op"_

_"Not yet."_

All the times Clarke rejected Lexa's full hearted attempts. All the times Lexa kept trying. All the times Clarke never realized that she really was in love with Lexa. All the madness, all the differences, all the odds, all the sadness. They got through it all. They got through it all **together**.  

 "Here." Lexa handed Clarke her dagger and sword which Lexa had took off while she was sleeping.

 "Thank you" Clarke let out a shallow laugh.

**********

Octavia opened the thin cloth to make a doorway so the field commanders could go into Lexa's tent. Lexa was sitting on the throne, not holding a weapon with Clarke standing by her side.

 "Are you sure it was Azgeda and they know we are coming?" Lexa roughly said, trying to tone her commander voice.

 "They were aimed at us. I had a scout go to their landing sight, there was a note attatched to one of the arrows." A grounder walked closer to Lexa, carefully looking at Clarke who had her hand on her sword.

  _"If you do so as much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat"_

The way the scared field commander looked at Clarke as he handed Lexa the note reminded Clarke of when she handed Lexa her mentors' braid of her brown hair. The first time Clarke met Lexa. The start of their wonderful journey. Clarke was shivering, her spine stood straight, but her mind was running around of the thought that she was going to die by Gustus' sword. She was so scared, so immature.

 "Thank you." Lexa grabbed the scroll and opened it as the field commander stepped back with the others.

Lexa quickly read the scroll then handed it to Clarke,

 "Read it." Lexa whispered without taking her eyes off the others.

_You **killed** Costia. It may have been my blade but you are the reason she is dead. You cannot run from your past. You are still the childish commander you were years ago. I can't wait to see your reaction when I take Clarke from you. You were never mean't to be the commander, Alexandria. Clarke will suffer the same fate as Costia when I meet her, **just**.. because she is yours. **Just** because I know you love her. I will make you suffer until I finish you off with my blade, I will take **everything** from your poor self. You will have no reason to live, you think that way and I know it. You are foolish, Alexandria. **Jus drein jus daun**."_

Clarke closed her eyes for a long second then reopened. She set the scroll on a table next to the throne.

 "We should part in pairs. We all surround Azgeda together." Another grounder said

 "Who else votes on this?" Lexa looked around at all the people who raised their hands.

 "Then let it be known." Lexa sighed.

 "Skaikru" Lexa dryly said a few seconds later while everyone but Octavia was talking to pair up. "You will be with Trikru. Bring your army to walk by mine." Octavia and the others left at Lexa's command.

Clarke let a tear drip out from her shining blue eye and walked a few feet away from the throne.

 "I..I don't want to end up like Costia.." Clarke shivered, she couldn't keep in the tears any longer.

 "You won't." Lexa put her hands on Clarke's upper arms while shaking her head, "I promise."

Clarke nodded as she wiped away her tears with her gloves.

  "Are you ready, Clarke?" Lexa asked Clarke once again.

  "I am." Clarke said as she sniffled.

  "Take a deep breath, Clarke." Lexa swiped her thumbs under Clarke's eyes and then put her hair behind her ear and out of Clarke's face. "I won't let it happen. I swear it, on my life." Lexa closed her eyes for a few long seconds when a single tear ran down her face. "Never."

Lexa walked away from Clarke who was recovering from her tears.

 "I will command Trikru to fight with everyone else. Skaikru will enter a tunnel along with me and you which leads straight to Nia. Azegeda is scared of Skaikru's guns." Lexa's voice was so affectionate, so soft to the blonde.

 "Okay.." Clarke nodded, her face now tear free.

 

The group of girls led the two armies towards Azgeda.

 "Trikru!" Lexa's voice roared, "Kom war! Bants, kom gonplei!" (To war! Leave, to fight!)

All of the grounders passed the girls with Taiomi following.

 "Taiomi isn't fighting with us?" Clarke questioned

 "No. She is needed with Trikru. She will be okay."

********

 

 

They traveled in silence until they finally reached a hidden tunnel entrance which was about an hour away.

 "The tunnel leads to the queen. She is scared of your guns. Do **not** kill or shoot the queen. I will slay her myself." Lexa said as the small group of 16 nodded.

The tunnel was big enough for everyone to walk without having to crouch. The walls were not lit and the tunnel was semi-dark. The walls were rough, ragged stone with a few carvings along the uneven sides. Clarke ran her fingers softly over the rocks while walking to keep her nervousness in.

  _"I swear it on my life."_

The words spun around in Clarke's head until they reached the end of the tunnel. The white light shined against the tunnel wall which turned into the Queen's throneroom. Lexa motioned to the sky people to shoot all the guards but not the queen. Lexa and Clarke slowly crowled to the wall by the throne.

  _Bang_

_Thump_

_Bang_

_Thump_

The guards were quickly laying on the floor. Nia was frozen in shock, standing in the middle of the room. She pulled out her sword and gripped it tightly.

 "I thought you would come through the doors, knowing how dramatic you are." Nia roughly laughed

Lexa walked behind her, Clarke a few feet following.

  "You know neither of us want this, Alexandria." Nia smiled

  "We all know you want this." Lexa with-rhythemly said. Lexa walked closer to the queen, they were now so close Lexa could feel Nia breathe.

  Nia swiftly shoved her blade into the direction of Lexa's arm, Lexa quickly crouched down. She kicked the metal out of Nia's hands and into Nia's face, causing a deep gash to be left in the middle of her forehead.

 "You were never mean't to be the commander!" Nia bit out as she tried attacking again "Foolish little girl" Nia punched Lexa's stomach when she talked.

Lexa pierced her leg, her sword coming up with red blood on the tip. She let out a small roar before punching the bottom of Nia's chin. Nia managed to get a few shallow cuts on Lexa and some punches, they were only making Lexa more angry.

 "Clarke"  Lexa motioned to Nia.

Nia stood up, blood dripping down her nose, leaving red trails down her chin and neck. Clarke swiftly kicked her stomach, sending her feet away on the stone floor. She walked towards Nia once again. Clarke shoved her sword in the direction of where Nia's arm was, at the last second, Nia spun over, Clarke only got in a small gash on Nia's chest. Lexa walked up behind Clarke. She jumped up, her sword cutting lexa's left shoulder through her clothes.

 "Gon Costia." They said in unison as they shoved their swords slowly into both sides of Nia's chest.

 "You were never mean't to be the commander." Nia whispered with her last breath, stuttering as she spoke.

The sun was shining on Clarke's hair from the windows in the room a little bigger than Lexa's throneroom. They pulled their sword out and held them in their hands. Lexa opened the doors to look at the bloody land below. The sky people guards we still at the end of the tunnel but soon moved by the throne, relatively close to Nia's body. Clarke sighed at the sight, her eyes widening at the warriors who were constantly fighting Azgeda warriors who all wore white fur.

 "Lead us to victory." Clarke said, not taking her eyes off the city. Lexa started walking down the stairs with Clarke and the skaikru guards behind them.

 Lexa stopped.

**Lexa stopped.**

Clarke's eyes frantically scanned the city, the streets covered in blood.

 "What's wrong?" Clarke grabbed Lexa's forearm.

Lexa ignored the question and instead she ran down the remainder of the stairs and swiftly approaching an Azgeda warrior who just finished in a fight.

 "You will pay." Was all lexa said before she shoved the warriors to the ground, her sword at his neck. Lexa grit her teeth as she picked him up and shoved him to the rocky ground once again. She punched his bloody face until he passed out, then she impaled his chest.

 "Gon Taurus." Lexa paused "Jus drein Jus daun" Lexa sighed

 "Lexa!" Clarke worriedly called from many feet away as she threw her dagger into another Azgeda warriors' neck. He was only feet away, his sword still in his hand.

Lexa quickly looked behind her to see what Clarke was yelling about. Lexa saw the warrior on the ground, just feet away.

 "Thank you" She mouthed to Clarke

 

 "I'm.. sorry." Clarke calmy said as she walked to Lexa who was trying not to show her emotions for her lost brother.

 "Frag em op!" Lexa shouted, her voice full of anger. She repeated "Frag em op!" to the still fighting warriors, this time even louder.(Kill them all!)

Once all the Azgeda fighters were dead, Lexa sounded the retreat horn, all the bloody warriors picked up a few Ice nation warriors' items and walked out the gates.

Lexa walked over to one of the many houses in the city which were now abandoned, and pulled off a think fur blanket made from bear skins. Lexa smiled at the thought of Clarke being warm in the blanket with her.

 Clarke went the other way, lingering into another house which was mostly empty but she checked the crates anyway. The firepit was still lit in the cold afternoon which Clarke sat by while she checked a few boxes to keep herself warm. She didn't find much, mostly just empty boxes. She looked through another crate and inside, she found a cloth at the bottom of it. The cloth.. It had a painting of the nights sky.. It made Clarke get flashbacks of her father who was just trying to do the right thing. She layed her head back on a hard crate and just layed there. Clarke was just about to put it back into the crate but when she looked in it again, she found a silver ring. She knew Lexa would be happy if Clarke gave her it, but at the right time. She put the ring onto the middle of the cloth and wrapped it up, then she put it in her pocket for later.

 "Clarke?"

 "Clarke!" Lexa called from outside.

 "I'm in here! Don't give yourself a heart attack." Clarke responded, still looking through cabinets and shelves.

Lexa slowly walked up behind Clarke, wrapping the furry blanket softly over her arms so it just hung there.

 "Thank you." Clarke smiled as she turned around to kiss Lexa, their warm lips met for what seemed like an eternity, the moonlight showing them their path.

**Lexa pulled away..**

"Are you sure you want this?" Lexa whispered "I'm still the person who betrayed you at Mount Weather." 

 "And you are the same person I came down from space to be with. You are the light to all my dark." Clarke's voice was so soft, so passionate. "I do." She stared into Lexa's eyes, releasing so many feelings.

 

 "I love you." Clarke whispered.

The squeak of the door opened and Octavia just stood there. Clarke rolled her eyes and went back to opening crates. Lexa sighed and looked back at Octavia who was obviously amused.

 "What is your purpose of entering, Oktevia Kom Skaikru?" Lexa growled

 "We.. should get going." Octavia carefully said. "Taiomi went to get your horses from the entrance to the tunnel. She should be back any minute."

Lexa nodded, "Leave us." She took a long breath.

Lexa turned around to look at Clarke once Octavia left.

 "Find anything?"

 "No."

Clarke heard horses' hooves prancing against the ground and quickly walked out, Lexa followed.

\--------

"I'm sorry." Octavia said to Clarke when they were riding their horses back to Polis.

Clarke looked up and down Octavia, her head not moving, her face was serious and she slightly shook her head left to right. She sped up her horse to Lexa who was leading the Trikru army home.

 "Tell Octavia to lead the Skaikru army home and then she may come to Polis with two 'friends' as Skaikru calls it." Lexa said to Clarke. Clarke rolled her eyes and went back to Octavia.

 "Lead Skaikru to Arkadia. Then you may come to Polis with no more than two guests." Clarke stated firmly as Octavia left with all of Skaikru following her.

 

Lexa came to a complete stop minutes later.

 "Osir ste hir gon sheidgeda." Lexa told the grounders, "Osir banch in soncha."

Everyone set up camp fires, found logs to sit on, and Lexa went feet away to the outskirts of their small camp and laid blankets down on the ground and on the side of two huge rocks to make a bed.

 "What did you say to them?" Clarke walked over by Lexa once she tied her horse up

 "We stay here for the night. we leave in light." Lexa handed Clarke a canteen full of water.

 "Thank you." Clarke smiled "And remember, I do want you."

 "I will always want you."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos <3 (For future reference, the rooms or hallways like the throneroom are the same as in the show. Lexa's bedroom is different, though.) Is it bad I cried during writing part of that..? (Right after the Azgeda note part) You probably didn't because I am a terrible writer with a good imagination..
> 
> Translations:  
> Azgeda- Ice Nation  
> Skaikru- Sky People  
> Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op- Attack her and you attack me  
> Trikru- Tree people


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than most. I don't know how it got so short but I hope you enjoy <3   
> Trigedaslang translations at the end of the chapter.

The two exchanged gentle smiles on their horses when they heard music coming from Polis.

 "They are waiting for your arrival." Lexa's smile grew, "Your ceremony is almost ready, Hedatu." Clarke was so stunned, so happy, so scared. Her horse moved closer to Lexa's.

 "I have a surprise for you." Lexa said, not taking her eyes off the vague walls of the capitol.

 "I have a surprise for you, too." Clarke stared at the dimming sky.

 "All the clan leaders are here for your ceremony." Lexa softly whispered

 "Oh yeah, just make my surprise look terrible." Clarke joked, the walls of Polis getting closer to Lexa's eyes.

 "What is your surprise, Clarke?"

 "I cannot tell you, yet."

Crowds cheered as Lexa, Clarke, Taiomi, and all of the Trikru army who survived entered the wooden gates.  Two guards took their hoses into the stables. Most of the army went to their homes to wash up before the ceremony. Lexa lead the way to the grand tower. The grounders still cheering for their victory, Clarke smiled at the thought. The symbols of Hedatu and Heda on signs and walls.

 "Follow me, Clarke. I must get you ready." Taiomi whispered, they were now walking towards the room Clarke first met Taiomi.

 "I will grab her outfit." Lexa agreed

 "But I like this coat, it matches yours." Clarke sadly whined.

 "It needs to be washed, Clarke. Plus you have a special outfit made for the ceremony." Lexa walked away, disappearing into the hall.

 

 "I have never seen Lexa so happy before you fell from the sky." Taiomi softly reminded Clarke as she put on Clarke's eye makeup. The design was just like Lexa's except it was green, not black.

 "I noticed you undid your 'Commanders Circle' before we went into war." Taiomi smirked

 "We didn't.."Clarke's face was solid.

 "Then why was it randomly removed?" She asked, not stopping getting Clarke ready.

 "There was much going on and it bugged me." Clarke defended

 "Fine.." Taiomi sighed

 Lexa walked in, her jaw dropping when she saw Clarke. She set the clothes on a barrel which was a few feet by where Clarke sat.

 "You should bathe before the ceremony." Clarke chuckled, "You have old blood all over you."

 "I will bathe when you are in your room." Lexa smiled "It's good that you've had one." She slowly walked out.

 "Put your clothes on while I go and get Nikao." Taiomi said when she finished her makeup.

********

"You look amazing." Lexa said as Clarke entered her room. Clarke sat down by Lexa on the end of Clarke's bed, her flowly green dress dragging across the floor.

 "I never properly thanked you for saving me out there a week and a half ago." Clarke held Lexa's hand

  _"_ What is a week and a half?" Lexa questioned

 "10 days." Clarke confirmed

 "So you were in the forest 10 days ago?" Lexa clarified

 "Correct" Clarke pulled Lexa up off the best to walk out for the ceremony, Lexa wore her Commander's coat except it was clean and she had a bath before Clarke saw her.

 "Walk straight onto the raised platform to meet all the clan leaders then announce yourself to the people." Lexa paused, "After that, it's your choice of what you want to do." Lexa said as they walked down the stairs.

Lexa nodded to the grounder guards who then opened the doors which Clarke walked out of. She wallked through the grand aisle the people made for her. They held flags of the Hedatu symbol in the sky, people cheered as Clarke walked to the clan leaders.

  _They are happy to see me._ Clarke realized, _These people.. They understand the problems I have, yet they still appreciate me._

Clarke walked up to a grounder who had light brown, ruffled hair. She was clearly a water child. Her outfit consisted of a mix between light blue and green, thick cloth trailed her when she walked. 

 "Flokru welcome you, Clarke of the Sky People." She said.

 "Luna, right?" Clarke asked, "Lexa has told me much about you."

 "Has she really?" Luna's eyes quickly jerked to meet Clarke's. "Don't waste your time on me. This night is about you." Luna smiled

Clarke walked over to a male grounder, tall and firm with scars across his face. She shook his hand, she felt a design scarred into his hand. "Shadow Valley welcomes you." He firmly said

 "Blue Cliff welcomes you." Another said

\-----------

"Clarke." Aden whispered

 "What's wrong?" Clarke looked over at the worried boy.

 "She seeks to kill you." Aden got closer to Clarke.

 "Who?" Clarke narrowed her eyes

 "The Ice nation _natblida._ Her mother was Nia." Aden said

 "How did you come across this information?"

 "She told me, we are closer than any of the other nightbloods." He closed his eyes for a long second, knowing the fact that she will be killed.

 "Thank you." Clarke walked away, frantically trying to find Lexa in the crowd of grounders.

 "Clarke?" Lexa's voice full of worry as she grabbed the back of Clarke's hand

 "Aden told me the Azgeda nightblood wants to kill me. Nia was her mother." Clarke informed Lexa

 "I will have her killed soon." Lexa's coat blew in the slight breeze of the night. "Until then, I must stay by your side to keep you safe. Of course." Lexa smiled

 "Wouldn't it be safer in private?" Clarke whispered

 "As you wish, Clarke." Lexa walked over to a guard, murmuring something to him as he nodded and walked away.

 "I must see Titus before we go into privacy." Clarke rolled her eyes and nodded at Lexa's words.

They walked to Titus' room, he was already waiting for their arrival.

 "Kyron attempted to kill the Hedatu and harm me for the attack on Azgeda." Lexa handed Titus a dagger, his face full of sadness as he walked away into Kyron's room.

Minutes later he slowly walked out with a bloody dagger, his face full of pain as he shed a tear. Lexa nodded and walked away with Clarke.

******

"That was much better than any ceremony could be." Clarke sighed as she sat up.

 "The clan leaders will wonder where you are if we are not there for a long time. I'm sorry." Lexa shoved her dagger into place and let Clarke lead the way out.

  "When does it end?" Clarke whined

 "Soon."

"Leidon, Hedatu." They all said in unison, bowing.

A few horns were sounded, bring warmth to Clarke during the cold night as she walked into the building.

 "Sorry.." Lexa mumbled as Clarke walked into the room, she laid under the cozy blankets in her bed. " You kept me waiting for hours.. I couldn't.."

 "Shh.. It's okay. Go back to sleep my darling." Clarke whispered as she detached her dagger from her waist, setting it on the wooden table which hugged the bed. She hung the green dress in the closet a few feet away and changed into black, baggy pants that tightened at the waist. Her shirt fell down halfway to her knees, the thin, grey shirt exposed her smooth shoulder with her black bra strap in the middle which she didn't care to take off. Clarke walked towards the bathroom, brushing her teeth for a few minutes which made the entire room smell like mint. Once she was done, she held out the ring in front of her and mouthed ' _I love you._ ' to the silver piece which shimmered in the moonlight.

*****

"Clarke?" Lexa's eyes were still closed as she felt the empty spot on the cold bed. Lexa frantically looked over, knocking her metal glass of water onto the floor causing a _clank_ to echo throughout the room. Her face was full of worry, shaking her head when she thought about all the terrible situations she could be in.

  _I won't let you get hurt. I swear it on my life._

A tear dripped out of Lexa's green eye as she thought about Clarke. She quickly got dressed, wearing the same outfit she wore when Clarke saved her from the gorilla.

  _"No way!" Clarke shouted, shooting every last bullet she had to save her._ Lexa smiled at the thought. _The first time Clarke saved her. The first time Lexa showed her true weakness. The first time Lexa made Clarke smile. She wouldn't be here without her and she couldn't continue without her._

"Guards!" Lexa snarled when she finished dressing. 

Two guards opened the doors when Lexa stood up, slowly walking towards the doorway.

 "Where did the Hedatu go?" Lexa gripped her knife, the metal of the case sliding against the dagger.

 "You were requested at the gate an hour ago. She didn't want to wake you so she went herself. The last time anyone saw her, she entered the building with two others." One of the guards said, straightening her spine. Lexa nodded and roughly walked down the noticeably dim hall

 "Any light more candles in here!" Lexa yelled behind her back.

*****

"You could have at least left a note." Lexa angrily said, leaning against the open doors at the end of the long hall, her arms crossed over her chest.

 "Don't act like you haven't left the bed while I was asleep the past 3 days." Clarke smirked, sitting on the matte grey cough in the middle of Octavia's room. 

"You had me worried." Lexa said

 "Do you think I feel different when not even the guards know where you went?" Clarke questioned

 "We both have duties, even in the morning." Lexa walked further into the room, kicking herself off the wall.

"Lexa." Octavia walked out of the bathroom, bowing her head

 "Why is your hair not properly braided?" Lexa quickly noticed.

 "No one was there to do it." Octavia's face expression changed from peaceful to angry. "Pike finished beating him to death when I walked through the gates. The grounders he protected were let go at the price of his death." She angrily sighed

"I'm sorry." The pain in Lexa's eyes couldn't be hidden. Replaying the memories the two had together as children, her eyes closed for a long moment, when her eyes opened the tears were filling the green pupils.  "I.. I must go." Lexa briskly walked away.

 "Was Lexa just about to cry?" Octavia astonishingly said. Clarke nodded, biting her lip "Lincoln has been her good friend ever since she was a child. She wouldn't be here without him."

 "I didn't know she had.. feelings.." Octavia roughly said

 "She is not a machine, O, she is a human and she cares. She is filled with pain, filled with sadness and her people can't see that but I can. It hurts me knowing that she will always be filled with sadness. So many deaths, So many tears she wants to shed but she can't. If she expressed her emotions she would fall apart."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter updated on Sunday like usual.
> 
> Trigedaslang translations:  
> Hedatu- Second in Command  
> Flokru- Boat people  
> Trikru- tree people  
> natblida- nightblood  
> Azgeda- ice nation  
> leidon- goodbye


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at the end notes for translations like usual. Thanks for all the kudos <3

 "You should go have lunch" Clarke told the girls

 "Come with us..?" Raven lightly pleaded

 "Please?" Octavia added to the conversation

 "Fine... I will find you both new clothing and go find someone, then I will be back." Clarke walked out and into the main hallway which was dimly lit.

 

 "Hey.." Clarke softly said, closing the doors to Lexa's bedroom behind her.

 "What.." Lexa roughly replied from her bathroom where she was putting on her eye makeup.

 "Where are you going?" The worry was shown in Clarke's voice.

 "To Arkadia." Lexa paused and looked towards Clarke, "And I want you to come with me"

 "I'm not ready to see them. Not yet." She straightened her spine

 "Clarke, Beja." Lexa said, taking her eyes off the blonde and continuing her makeup.

 "No."

 "Your friends want to see you" Lexa solemnly spoke

 "I'm sure they do." Clarke looked down, "But I do not."

She thought for a long second, "I will visit them when I am ready."

 "Fine. I will be back as soon as I can." Lexa tightened the dagger shealth on her hip. Lexa walked towards Clarke, gently kissing her cheek before whispering,

 "Goodbye, Clarke. Take care of Polis in my absence."

 "Goodbye, Lexa. It would be my honor." A tear crawled down Clarke's smooth face.

 "May we meet again." They softly said in unison. Lexa quickly walked out, the pain in her eyes showed as she looked at Clarke for one last time before her journey and closed the cracked door.

*******

"Clarke.." Aden said as he stood in the doorway of Lexa's bedroom.

Clarke returned the ring she didn't have a chance to give Lexa back into her pocket before turning around to look at the blonde nightblood.

 "Aden." Clarke stopped staring at Lexa sadly leaving the wooden gates of Polis on her brown horse with a few guards including Indra following.

 "Where is Heda going?" Aden noticed as he walked up behind Clarke on the balcony.

 "There was a concern about one of the clans she needed to attend" She informed him.

 "Ready for lunch with Octavia and Raven?" Clarke quickly changed the subject. Aden nodded, his messy hair bouncing up and down in the motion.

 "I will bring up the food." Aden replied

 "Allow me." She shook her head.

 

 "Hedatu." A stern, deep voice called from down the hall. Clarke turned around to see a tall figure standing in the darkness.

 "Titus?" Clarke laid her hand on the dagger on her waist.

He walked forward, showing himself in the sunlight of an open door.

 "Do you want me to have a heart attack?" She sighed

 "I do not know of the phrase 'heart attack' but you were requested in the throne room for an emergency meeting with the clan leaders." He paused, "You will be treated equally as Lexa while she is gone." Clarke replied with a nod and looked towards Aden.

 "Go to Octavia's room. I will be there shortly." Clarke finished and followed Titus to the throne room.

\-----

"Who is it?" Octavia yelled from the bathroom when Aden knocked at her door.

 "I'm supposed to have _sanch_ with you." Aden confirmed from outside the doors.

 "Just let him in." Raven called from the balcony.

Octavia sighed, "Wait" she roughly called before getting on proper clothes.

 "Where are the clothes Clarke promised us?" Octavia let a big of annoyance out.

 "Wanheda is at an urgent meeting with all the clan leaders. Come with me and I will show you where to get them." Aden was still standing outside the door before Raven opened it to see a small boy who was clearly shocked

 "You're Octavia?" His mouth dropped "You don't look like the killer she is told to be." Raven smiled before opening the door more so Aden saw the girl in the back of the room who was attaching her bloody blade to her back.

 "Is that the skaikru girl who was destined to be one of us?" Aden's voice was full of excitement. Raven nodded before he ran towards Octavia.

 "It is a pleasure to meet you, Oktevia Kom Skaikru" Aden begged for acceptance

 "Hello." Octavia didn't make eye contact with the boy.

 "I will show you to Taiomi. She is Heda's personal handmaiden, if Clarke left the clothes somewhere, it would be with her." Aden waited for confirmation from both girls before he lead them out.

 

 "Taiomi." Aden called from down the hall.

"Yes, Aden?" She yelled from her workspace

 "Did Clarke leave you any clothes for two guests?" Aden walked in her room

 "She did. Why do you ask?"

 "She had to go to a meeting with the clan leaders while Lexa is gone. They requested their clothes." He replied

 "They look formal." Taiomi paused "Whom are you having lunch with?"

 "No one new, that I know of. Clarke said Octavia has a reputation here so it might be for that purpose." Aden said

 "Here." Taiomi handed Octavia and Raven their clothes, a dagger laid ontop of the neatly folded outfit.

 "Thank you." The girls said in unison.

 "Go to Nikao when you are ready. Clarke requested your hair to be done." Taiomi gently spoke

 "Could they have a bath?" Aden asked the surprised Taiomi "We have time until the meeting is finished."

 "If they would like a bath, I could prepare one for each of them."

Aden looked to the girls who's faces showed the confirmation.

 "Come." Taiomi walked out into the candle-lit halls with the rest following.

\--------

"Defeating Azgeda was a step towards peace. Peace is our ultimate mission." Clarke said to one of the clan leaders

 "And what is your next step?" Luna asked Clarke who was sitting on Lexa's throne.

 "You do not need to know, yet. Just know that your clans are safe." Clarke looked around the room at all the other leaders.

 "That is final." Clarke swiftly walked out of the sacred room.

 "I must admit, you did better than I thought you would in the meeting." He sighed, "I still don't like the thought of you commanding."

 "Then it is a good thing Lexa will be back soon." Clarke replied

 "We start training tomorrow, Hedatu." Titus said as he walked into another direction

 

Clarke walked in another direction when she spotted Aden leaning on the wall right be a closed door.

 "Aden?" Clarke paused

 "Yes, Clarke?" Aden looked worried at Clarke's tone.

 "I thought you were having lunch with Raven and Octavia." She was now just feet away.

"They are bathing. Raven is in this room, Octavia asked me to guard her door." He informed her

 "Meet me at my room when they are done. I must go take care of something." Clarke solemnly walked away

\--------

 "Can you engrave 'I love you' on it?" Clarke asked Taiomi who was in her room

 "Personally, I cannot. But I could have the engraver do it for me." Taiomi paused "He is my friend. I could have it ready for you by sundown." She smiled

 "And he won't know it's for me, right?" Clarke asked

 "No, he won't. Only a few know about your love interests, Clarke."

She replied with a nod, "Thank you" she walked away, going upstairs to her bedroom.

 "I officially hate this shoulder piece. Lexa said it was only for war but Titus made me wear it for the meeting." Clarke sighed as she set the piece on a long table clinging to the wall of her room.

 "Can we go to the forest for lunch?" Octavia asked

 "I have to stay in Polis in case something happens. I am sorry." Clarke sat on the couch by Aden

 "Can you come sit on the sofa with us like a normal person instead of dangling your feet off a 100 foot high balcony?" Raven asked Octavia

 "I'm not a normal person. Plus I like it here." Octavia rested her hands in her lap

 "Aden, could you help me get the food?" Clarke asked

 "Sha, Heda." He replied.

 -------

"Octavia." Raven sternly said

 "Yes?"

 "Clarke will kill you if she sees you playing with her weapons."

 "It's fine." Octavia smiled as she spun a dagger from the shelf

The doors open with a man slowly walking in, he looked around first at Raven then Octavia who was still playing with Clarke's weapons. He quickly ran towards Octavia, knocking her to the ground and taking the knife to her throat.

 "Who are you?" Titus growled, putting more pressure on the knife causing a small red line to form on the girls' skin.

 "Octavia." She said.

 "Why are you in Heda's room?" He asked "And who gave you permission to touch the Commander's dagger?" Titus hissed

 "Titus!" Clarke astonishingly yelled when she entered the room to see a knife to her friends' throat.

 "Heda. She touched your weapons." He defended

 "Let go of her, now." Clarke demanded. Titus pushed her out of the way and set the dagger back on the table.

 "Why were you even in my bedroom?" Clarke slanted her head

 "I came to confirm your training starts tomorrow." He ignorantly said

Clarke nodded, "Leave us."

 "I'm sorry he did that to you, O." Clarke handed Raven her food while Aden handed Octavia's food to her.

 "Who is he?" She asked

 "Titus. He is the _Flamekeipa_. He is also Lexa and I's mentor."

 "He also trains the nightbloods." Aden added

 "Who are the nightbloods?" Raven asked

 "A special group of kids that were born with black blood. It goes back to the first commander, _Becca Pram Heda._ When she was on the 13th station, she injected herself with it and it is the blood born to lead." Clarke informed Raven, "When the Heda dies, the conclave begins. All the nightbloods fight to the death and the winner is the new commander."

 "So Lexa is a nightblood?" Raven asked

 "Yes. So is Aden." Clarke finished

 "What type of meat is it?" Octavia changed the subject, looking at her half eaten cooked meat.

 "Panther." Aden responded after he finished eating his apple.

 "I must go." Aden sadly spoke, "Titus will get mad if I don't train." He picked up his plate and glass before Clarke set her hand on his arm.

 "Allow me. Go train, ste yuj." Clarke told the boy and he slowly nodded then ran out.

 "Why did he call this room 'Heda's'?" Octavia paused, "And the weapons 'Heda's weapons'?"

 "When Lexa is gone, I am the Commander in Polis." Clarke stated, "And when I am not accompanied by Lexa anywhere else, I am the Commander."

 "Is this really your room? Or is it Lexa's?" Raven asked

 "It is mine, however I don't always sleep in here. Same with Lexa." Clarke paused "I'm not talking about our private life."

 "Fine.. Party pooper." Raven joked

 

 "Heda." A stiff voice said from the outside of the door.

 "Who is it?" Clarke called, standing up from the sofa and walking over to the shelf which held her dagger, if she needed.

 "Roan." He answered, "The Azgeda Prince."

Clarke handed Raven and Octavia a dagger, "What is your purpose of being at my door?" Clarke's voice got louder.

 "Just let me in, Clarke. If I was here to hurt you, I wouldn't have knocked and waited outside your door."

 "Enter." Clarke sighed as she put on her Commanders' coat Lexa had made for her to match Lexa's.

Roan bowed his head, the guards entered the room for protection.

 "The Blue Cliff Clan leader requests you approve me into their clan." He walked into the middle of the room.

 "Why do you wish to join their clan?" CLarke toned her commander voice which made Octavia and Raven astonished.

 "Well, you killed most of my people. I killed the rest in the small villages surrounding Azgeda to prove my loyalty." He roughly said

 "You are accepted on my behalf." Clarke said

 "Thank you." He calmly stated, slowly walking out of the room.

 

 "I'm going to explore." Octavia sighed and got up

 "Bye." Clarke said from the balcony

 "Bye, O." Raven said

 "Let me take your plate." Octavia insisted

 "No.. It's okay, I will do it." Raven smiled

Octavia set her hand on the back of Ravens' "I insist." Octavia softly smiled

Raven replied with a smile as Octavia walked away with two plates in her hand.

 "I miss her.." Clarke whispered, her hands making a stand for her head on her crossed legs.

 "it'll be okay." Raven walked up behind Clarke.

 "Does your leg hurt?" Clarke looked to her left and saw Raven sitting behind her.

 "It always hurts." Raven softly said

 "Come." Clarke said

 "Where are we going?" Raven asked

 "The healers might have something to ease the pain." Clarke helped Raven up from the stone balcony.

 "Aren't you afraid of heights?" She questioned

 "That's why I sat behind you."

********

"Goodnight, Clarke." Raven said

 "Goodnight, Raven." Clarke paused, "I hope the mixture they gave you works."

 "Even if it tastes terrible" Raven laughed

Clarke walked off into the hallways lit by the shining moonlight.

 "Sorry.." Clarke said as she entered Taiomi's private room which was different than her workspace.

 "It's okay." She replied from the bathroom with the door open, she was clearly brushing her teeth.

 "It smells amazing in here." Clarke laughed

 "Toothpaste does smell good." Taiomi let out a shallow laugh and stopped brushing.

 "Here.." Taiomi brought Clarke the silver ring with the words not engraved on it.

 "It's beautiful.." Clarke smiled "I'm in your debt." She held it up to the moonlight which shined off it.

 "No you ar--"

 "Yes. Yes I am." Clarke cut her off.

 "Reshop, Taiomi." Clarke whispered as she rewrapped the ring in the cloth that was painted as the nights sky.

 "Reshop, Heda." She smiled

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Beja- please  
> Sanch- Lunch  
> Wanheda- Commander of the Death  
> skaikru- Sky People  
> Sha- Yes  
> Heda- Commander  
> Hedatu- Second in Command  
> flamekeipa- flamekeeper  
> azgeda- Ice nation  
> reshop- good night


End file.
